Se afișează postările cu eticheta Sfaturi. Afișați toate postările
Se afișează postările cu eticheta Sfaturi. Afișați toate postările

miercuri, 3 august 2011

TOP 10 Things To Do In London That Won't Cost You


1. CHANGING OF THE GUARD

Fans of royal pomp and splendour will be surprised at how much there is to do and see, without dipping into your own coffers. One key bit of pageantry that takes place regularly is the Changing of the Guard. Watch this traditional ceremony outside Buckingham Palace, where guards swap places wearing red tunics and bearskin hats. 11am outside Buckingham Palace, but check beforehand as it only takes place on certain days, www.royal.gov.uk

2. CEREMONY OF THE KEYS

Entry to the Tower of London usually costs £17 for an adult, £9.50 for a child, but there is a way to get inside for free. The Ceremony of the Keys takes place every evening at the Tower of London, home to the Crown Jewels. Dressed in his red tunic, the Chief Yeoman locks the gates - important when you know what treasure lies within - before delivering them to the Resident Governor of the Tower, a ritual that has gone on for 700 years. Tickets are free, but need to be booked two months in advance by written application. More details: www.hrp.org.uk

3. CLIMB BIG BEN

With the elections over, keep your MP busy with the task of helping organise your free tour of St Stephen's Tower, home to the Big Ben bell. Said to be the most accurate clock in the world, the tour guide will outline the history of the tower and bell and how it all works. Space is limited and so early booking is advised (usually three to six months in advance). Further information at www.parliament.co.uk

4. VISIT THE OLYMPICS

Anyone interested in the 2012 Olympics can tour the Stratford Olympic stadium for free - just book in advance and take photographic ID (over eight-year-olds only). Tours take place on Saturdays and Sundays, last an hour and go by bus from Stratford station. www.walthamforest.gov.uk or call 0300 2012 001.

5. HOP ON A BUS

Before you jump on an expensive organised sightseeing tour, consider a DIY tour which comes with an added bonus. Some of the buses are vintage Routemaster models and go past some of London's most iconic landmarks. There are two key routes: the number 9, which takes in neon-clad Piccadilly, Hyde Park, the Albert Hall and Kensington Palace. Number 15 includes Trafalgar Square, the Tower of London and St Paul's Cathedral. The routes will take you through the West End, West London and the City to the East End. Using an Oystercard would cost an adult £3.90 to travel all day by bus. More information: www.tfl.gov.uk

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6. GO CYCLING

The new Barclays Cycle Hire scheme means you can see the capital for under a fiver - a day's hire, plus the activation key comes to £4. As long as you ensure that no journey lasts more than 30 minutes, the bicycles won't cost you anything. www.tfl.gov.uk/BarclaysCycleHire

7. SEE SOME ART

London's major museums - including the British Museum, the V&A and the Tate Modern - are free, but for something a bit more unusual, head to the Gagosian Gallery in Kings Cross. Currently, it has an exhibition of some rarely-seen Picassos and looking at them won't cost you a penny. More details: www.gagosian.com

8. FESTIVALS

The Mayor's Thames Festival takes place from 11-12 September and is one of the best free events in the capital. This year there will be performances as well as archaelogical walks along the foreshore, while the weekend will be rounded off with a huge firework display. Following the current fashion for all things vintage, classic sailing boats will be on show at St Katherine's Dock. For further information: www.thamesfestival.org

9. THE THEATRE FOR LESS

Enjoy some of the West End's biggest hits during Kids Week, when children go free if accompanied by adults. This promotion, which includes Mamma Mia!, Oliver! and the Railway Children lasts until 3 September.

More information: www.kidsweek.co.uk, but you can also buy half-price theatre tickets year-round from the Tkts booth in Leicester Square. See www.tkts.co.uk

10. OPEN HOUSE WEEKEND

See inside buildings never usually open to the public over the weekend of September 18-19. The Open House event includes tours of the Bank of England, the BT Tower and City Hall, as well as private houses and historic buildings. And all tours are free. See www.londonopenhouse.org

mirror.co.uk

luni, 20 iunie 2011

Dieta perfecta, in functie de zodie!

Afla aici ce dieta trebuie sa tii pentru zodia in care esti.

Sa obligi un Berbec sa tina regim este ca si cum i-ai interzice unui copil bomboane. Chiar daca nu suporti restrictiile alimentare, afla ca exista o dieta pe care o poti tine. E vorba de cea cu preparate delicioase, desigur!

Taur: dieta din trei in trei ore

De ce? Pentru ca adori sa mananci! Savurezi cu placere mancarurile favorite si nu-ti poti imagina sa reduci numarul meselor. Noi iti propunem sa-l maresti, dar cu cap!

Gemeni: dieta cu calciu, care iti modeleaza rapid silueta

Sa zicem ca tu preferi sa trisezi cand vine vorba de regimul alimentar. Nu vezi necesitatea unei diete stricte. Preferi una mai sireata, care sa te scape de kilogramele in plus repede si sanatos. Se poate, totul e sa vrei!

Rac: dieta cu cartofi si branza de vaci

Orice dieta ai tine, nu vrei ca ea sa te priveze de senzatia ca mananci consistent. Ai nevoie de 3 mese bogate pe zi, pentru a te simti bine in pielea ta. De aceea, dieta aceasta iti satisface preferintele si iti modeleaza silueta.

Leu: dieta cu paste

Nu te dai in vant dupa orele petrecute in bucatarie. Ai nevoie de o dieta cu un aliment versatil, pe care sa il poti prepara in mai multe feluri, si care sa fie grijuliu cu silueta ta. Ai ramane surprinsa sa afli ca pastele nu ingrasa!

Fecioara: dieta de vara cu salate usoare

Salatele contin vitamine si minerale din plin, asa ca le adori! Preferi sa renunti la gustul aromat, in favoarea calitatii nutritioniste, asa ca o dieta cu legume este ideala pentru tine.

Balanta: dieta cu legume si cascaval

Nu poti respecta o dieta prea stricta. Ai nevoie de una care sa faca un compromis cu tine… Ce zici atunci de dieta cu legume si cascaval? in acest fel mananci sanatos, dar te bucuri si de un aliment gustos.

Scorpion: dieta care ataca direct zona problematica

Preferi o dieta eficienta, care sa atace direct zona pe care doresti sa o modelezi. Ar trebui sa incepi in primul rand cu talia. incearca o dieta bogata in vitamina C, care te ajuta sa arzi grasimile. Iti va oferi un abdomen de invidiat!

Sagetator: dieta de o zi

Nu iti place sa-ti bati capul cu combinatii de alimente si calcule de calorii. Asadar, ai nevoie de o dieta simpla si eficienta. Ce zici atunci de dietele care nu tin decat o zi?

Capricorn: dieta vegetariana

De ce sa nu devii vegetariana macar pe timpul verii? Caldura iti taie oricum din pofta de mancare, iar vara gasesti legume si fructe proaspete la cele mai mici preturi din an. Asa ca dieta vegetariana este alegerea logica pentru tine, cel putin in sezonul cald.

Varsator: dieta pe baza de… clatite

Ai auzit bine! Nu trebuie sa stai cu centimetrul intr-o mana si cu marul in cealalta. Poti manca clatite, fara teama kilogramelor in plus. Mai mult, iti poti modela silueta cu ajutorul lor!

Pesti: dieta mediteraneana

Afla ca regimul alimentar bazat pe ingrediente mediteraneene, cum sunt fructele, legumele si pestele, iti asigura o silueta de vis. Asa ca merita sa o incerci!

sâmbătă, 18 iunie 2011

Tarifele practicate de artistii / muzicienii romani (pentru nunta)

Daca iti faci nunta vara aceasta si inca nu ai ales formatia care sa iti incante invitatii, iata cateva idei. Vezi mai jos cat cer trupele sau cantaretii pentru un recital la astfel de petreceri. Preturile, care incep de la cateva sute si ajung la 8.000 de euro, nu includ insa costurile de transport, cazarea si masa.

Acestea se discuta separat, inainte de a bate palma. in plus, tarifele pot creste, daca artistii vin cu aparatura de sonorizare de acasa.

Florin Salam este unul dintre lautarii care percep cele mai mari tarife. Pentru un recital al manelistului trebuie sa scoateti din buzunar o mica avere – 8.000 €.

sursa: www.opiniatimisoarei.ro

miercuri, 15 iunie 2011

Top 10 cele mai frumoase plaje din Europa

Daca nu va hotarati unde sa mergeti in vacanta anul acesta, puteti alege o destinatie din topul plajelor europene realizat de utilizatorii TripAdvisor. Potrivit acestora, Cipru se afla pe primul loc in preferintele celor cateva milioane de votanti cu doua din trei destinatii posibile – Ayia Napa, supranumita si “capitala petrecerilor”, si Proteras, o statiune cu nisipuri fine si albe aflata chiar langa insula greaca Skiathos.

Atat Cipru, cat si Grecia ocupa locuri importante in lista de pe TripAdvisor, alaturi de Italia si Spania, situate intre locurile 7 si 10 in acelasi top. Turcia este inscrisa cu statiunea Oludeniz, in timp ce Marea Britanie este prezenta cu St. Ives, un orasel cunoscut pentru surf in zona Cornwall.

Plajele de top ale Europei

1. Ayia Napa, Cipru


2. Skiathos, Grecia


3. Protaras, Cipru

4. Mykonos, Grecia
5. Oludeniz, Turcia


6. St. Ives, Marea Britanie

7. Alcudia, Insulele Baleare, Spania

8. San Vito lo Capo, Sicilia, Italia

9. Calvia, Insulele Baleare, Spania

10. Villasimius, Sardinia, Italia



sursa: www.opiniatimisoarei.ro

luni, 23 mai 2011

Stiati ca... despre Corpul Uman


Cele mai bune performante ale memoriei sunt atinse între 15 si 25 de ani?
Dupa anumite estimari, 50% din informatia primita se uita dupa o ora si 80% dupa o luna?
Inima bate de aproximativ 70 de ori pe minut, iar o revolutie cardiaca dureaza 0,8 secunde. 0.1 secude dureaza sistola atriala, 0.4 secunde sistola ventriculara si 0.4 secunde faza de relaxare ?
In timpul unui efort fizic, cantitatea de singe ce trece prin inima creste cu 10-35%, iar ritmul cardiac poate sa se dubleze si chiar sa se tripleze?
Rinichii filtreaza 1,2 litri de singe pe minut, adica 2000 litri pe zi?
Amprentele apar la fetus inca de la varsta de 3 luni?
Dureaza 6 luni pentru ca o unghie de la un deget al piciorului sa creasca de la baza pana la varf?
O persoana pierde intre 40 si 100 de fire de par in fiecare zi?
Lipsa totala a somnului duce la moarte mai repede decat lipsa totala a alimentatiei? Moartea survine in aproximativ 10 zile fara somn si in cateva saptamani fara mancare?
Viteza aerului expirat in cazul unui stranut poate depasi 160 km/ora?
Se pare ca riscul de infarct miocardic este mai mare lunea?
Daca sunteti inchisi intr-o camera complet izolata, veti muri de intoxicatie cu dioxid de carbon inainte de muri din cauza lipsei de oxigen?
Daca ramaneti orb de un ochi, pierdeti doar 1/5 din capacitatea de a vedea dar nu mai puteti vedea in profunzime?
Este nevoie de 1.200.000 de tantari pentru a suge tot sangele dintr-un om?
Barbatii fara par pe piept prezinta un risc mai mare de a face ciroza decat barbatii cu par pe piept?
Femeile clipesc de 2 ori mai des decat barbatii?
Unghiile degetelor de la mana cresc de 4 ori mai repede ca unghiile degetelor de la picioare?
Oamenii sunt singurele animale care plang cu lacrimi?
Este imposibil sa stranuti cu ochii deschisi?
In fiecare luna creste un nou strat de piele?
Stomacul produce un nou strat de mucus la fiecare 2 saptamani?
Inima creaza suficienta presiune ca sa poata arunca sange la o distanta de 10 metri?
Pastrand proportiile, cel mai puternic muschi al omului este limba?
Nu te poti sinucide tinandu-ti respiratia?
Rinichii consuma 8% din oxigenul utilizat de organism in repaus?
Viteza de conducere a impulsului nervos atinge 120m/s in fibrele nervoase mielinizate si doar 2 m/s prin cele nemielinizate?
Secretam circa un litru de saliva pe zi si inghitim in mediu de doua ori pe minut?
Viteza de propagare a bolului alimentar in intestinul subtire este de 2 cm pe minut, in colon el avanseaza 5 cm pe ora?
Ne schimbam pozitia de 30-40 de ori pe noapte?
Nevoile medii de somn sunt de 14-22 ore pe zi la un copil pina la o luna, 13-15 ore la unul spre 1 an, 10-12 ore pina la 6 ani, 9 ore la 12 ani si 7 ore si jumatate la un om adult?
Urechea umana percepe sunetele a caror frecventa variaza intre 20 si 20 000 hertzi(Hz)?
Corpul uman este compus din 206 oase?
Cea mai mare celula umana este ovulul iar cea mai mica spermatozoidul?
Dureaza aproximativ 7 secunde pentru ca mancarea sa ajunga din gura in stomac?
Un fir de par poate sa sustina aproximativ 3 kg?
Dreptacii traiesc in medie cu 9 ani mai mult decat stangacii?
Daca clipiti cu un ochi, miscati mai mult de 200 de muschi?
Ficatul indeplineste peste 5oo de functii diferite?
Durata vietii unei celule intestinale este de 12 ore
Durata de viata a unei celule a peretelui stomacului e de 2 zile?
O celula din piele traieste 4 saptamâni ?
O celula nervoasa poate trai pâna la 60 de ani?
Copilul cunoaste 1200-2000 de cuvinte cand incepe scoala si 3000-5000 cand o termina?
Femurul are o rezistenta la compresiune mai mare decat betonul?
Lungimea medie a penisului unui barbat este de trei ori mai mare decat lungimea degetului mare de la mana?
Inima unei femei bate mai repede decat cea a unui barbat?
Exista peste 1 miliard de bacterii pe talpa piciorului?
Pielea unei persoane normale cantareste de 2 ori mai mult decat creierul?
Atunci cand priviti persoana pe care o iubiti, pupilele se dilata? Acelasi lucru se intampla si cu o persoana pe care o urati?
Se secreta mai mult cerumen atunci cand sunteti speriati?
Pentru a sta in picioare sunt folositi peste 300 de muschi?
Daca saliva nu poate dizolva ceva, atunci nu puteti simti gustul acelui obiect?
Tusea produce un curent de aer care se poate deplasa cu o viteza de pana la 100 km/ora?
Dupa ce petreceti multe ore in fata calculatorului si va uitati la o foaie de hartie alba, aceasta va va aparea cel mai probabil roz?
Exista in medie 100.000 de fire de par pe capul unui om?
O celula sangvina are nevoie de 60 de secunde pentru a face un tur al corpului si a se intoarce in locul de unde a plecat?
Copiii se nasc cu 300 de oase, dar adultii au numai 206?
Firul de par din barba are cea mai rapida crestere?
Persoanele blonde au parul mai des decat cele brunete?
Amprenta limbii este unica?
Rolul amprentelor este de a asigura o mai buna prindere a obiectelor?
In fiecare ora o persoana pierde aproximativ 600.000 de celule ale pielii? Asta inseamna aproximativ 50 de kg pierdute pana la varsta de 70 de ani?
Intestinul subtire are 7 metri?
Rasul scade nivelul de stres si intareste sistemul imunitar? Un copil de 6 ani rade in medie de 300 de ori pe zi in timp ce un adult de 15 pana la 100 de ori?
Majoritatea barbatilor au erectii in timpul somnului la fiecare o ora si jumatate?
Femeile spun in medie 7.000 de cuvinte/zi in timp ce barbatii 2.000?
Exista persoane care nu au amprente?
Durata medie a unui raport sexual este de 2 minute?
Corpul uman contine suficient fier pentru a face o unghie de 7.5 cm, carbon pentru a face 900 de creioane, grasime pentru 7 bucati de sapun, fosfor pentru 2200 de bete de chibrit?
Muschii cantaresc 40% din greutatea corpului?
Creierul uman contine 85% apa?
Singurul os al corpului care nu este legat de alt os, este hioidul? El este situat la baza limbii si are rolul de a o sustine.
Singura data in istorie cand populatia lumii a fost in scadere a fost in 1347 cand in Europa a fost epidemie de ciuma neagra?
Exista peste 70 km de fibre nervoase in pielea unui om?
Exista aproximativ 100.000 de km de vase de sange in corpul uman?
Desi cantareste doar 2% din toata masa corporala, creierul foloseste 20% din oxigenul necesar corpului?
300 de milioane de celule mor in fiecare minut in corpul uman?
Femeile ard grasimile mai incet decat barbatii?

duminică, 22 mai 2011

joi, 19 mai 2011

Mic Dictionar de Terminologie Feminina

Acest dictionar va cuprinde traduceri ai diversilor termeni si fraze folositi de femei in dialogul cotidian. Poate fi utilizat spre iluminare de orice barbat care are sau planuie sa aiba o prezenta de gen feminin in apropiere.

" 5 minute " – interval de timp intre una si trei ore folosit la aranjarea parului, pensarea sprancenelor, datul cu rimel, creionarea buzelor rujate, aranjatul in oglinda; expresie folosita cu predilectie de ea, cand tu te grabesti la o intalnire cu ora fixa, pe care ai fost destul de tantalau sa o divulgi.
" rimel "
– un fel de smoala pentru gene, care se aplica cu o ustensila tirbusonoidala, prin scarmanarea fiecarui fir de geana in parte; in caz de ploaie, smoala se prelinge pana intre dinti, facand mimica faciala a ei, mult mai interesanta decat in mod normal; daca este waterproof (anti ud) nici atata bucurie nu ai.
"oglinda"
– dispozitiv de belit ochii in el, care reflecta gingasia si frumusetea ei, si daca nu o reflecta e vai si amar de curu tau, ca ii scoti par alb in cap cu stilul tau de magar, si o imbatranesti intr-un an cat altii-n zece; porcule!
" lacrima "
– unealta diabolica ce implica eliberarea de cantitati apreciabile de apa si sare prin orificiile oculare; debitul constant este asigurat de o punga apoasa, cu un volum intre 1 si 2 litri, amplasata in lobul frontal al craniului; unealta este folosita fara nici o discriminare, ca argument in orice discutie contradictorie sau rugaminte.
"discutie "
– bazait cu o cadenta de 10.000 de cuvinte pe ora, numai pe note acute, ce intervine dupa ce ti-ai cumparat o undita, placa video, faruri noi la masina sau orice altceva de care ea nu se foloseste;
" posetuta "
– ditamai tolba de 5 kilograme pe care ea o poarta cu o lejeritate herculeana, de care nu ai crede-o in stare cand iti spune pisicoasa " tati, nu ma ajuti cu painea asta, ca imi rupe mainile…"; in respectivul sac fara fund se gasesc o sumedenie de dispozitive de neinteles pentru noi dar deosebit de utile pentru ele (medicamente pentru toate bolile pamantului, oglinda de belit ochii in ea cand deschizi din intamplare sacul, gloss de buze, agenda goala, zece perechi de chei, inclusiv de la casa lu bunica care s-a daramat in 79', fiecare cu doua brelocuri, multe pixe in caz ca odata si odata are chef de scris in agenda goala, portofeluri, telefonuri, crema de maini de zi si noapte, crema de picioare de zi si noapte, crema de corp de zi si noapte, o pereche de chiloti de schimb, doua sutiene pentru urgente, mini-trusa completa de machiaj, parfum, apa de toaleta si deodorant, servetele umede si uscate, colectia de pispirici primiti de la colegele de servici, o pisica mica si un clopotel argintiu ca sa aiba pisica mica cu ce se juca.
" Lenjerie intima "
– in cazul cel mai fericit - doi sau trei saci cu ate de diferite marimi, unele prevazute cu volanase, dantelute, floricele, canafi, bumbi, poze cu tweety sau bambi, imprimeuri cu pantera roz, negre, albe, roz, culoarea pielii, zebra, tigru , iguana de apa dulce… una din principalele caracterisitici este compresia si elasticitatea. Compresia pentru ca cei trei saci de cartofi intra in numai patru sertarase ale dulapiorului (adica toate) de unde ies, daca te pune naiba sa-l deschizi mai tare de doua degete, ca scaunele ejectate din avioanele americane, agatandu-se de lustra, de geam, de clanta usii, de nasul tau. Elasticitatea, pentru ca, in acelasi bikini de 2 centimetri care abia ti-l poti imagina pe un top model somalaez, incape si o zdrahoanca cat dulapu' cand vrea sa isi impresioneze sotul cum am vazut ea la acasa tv… se mai numesc bikini, tanga, snuri, moartea barbatilor, etc..
- intr-un caz mai putin fericit, 5 saci plin varf cu material rezistent de parasuta comunista, de culoarea alba spre gri in functie de trecera timpului, cu elastic tot de parasutism, bun pentru prastie de tras in ciori deasupra depozitului de borcane al Falticeniului… poarta denumirea de bodigai, barci, tafulci, etc.
- in cel mai rau caz si se pare pe cale de disparitie (slava domnului), una bucata metal stralucitor, grea de 5 kile, prevazuta cu lacat in sapte rotite, cu o singura cheie, tinuta in buzunarul de la spate al tatalui… nume de legenda- centura de castitate.
" Epilat "
– procedeu tehnic de defrisare a zonelor cu crestere rapida. Ca si recoltarea mararului el poate fi efectuat prin metode variate, care se diferentiaza prin randament, luciu si cantitate de durere emanata. Epilatul cu ceara este de departe cel mai brutal mod de a scapa de lichenii nedoriti. Se ia un litru ce ceara, topit in haurile iadului, fierbinte de indoaie aluminiul si se toarna peste biata vegetatie inocenta. Cand urletele inceteaza, inseamna ca ceara s-a intarit, cuprinzand tulpinitele florei in cauza intr-un cleste fara scapare.. Dupa un moment de respiro se apuca stratul de ceara cu ambele maini si… mi se face rau numai sa povestesc despre asa ceva… si se trage cu putere.. Acutele realizate in acest moment de posesoara reliefului fost-vegetal nu sunt periculoase pentru urechea umana, in schimb pot ucide sau mutila grav peckinezii de pe o raza de trei kilometri.
" Machiaj "
– proces complex prin care buzele ei devin de un rosu sclipitor si capata gust de copite de capra (a se vedea prima parte a dictionarului), sprancenele sunt pensate pana nu mai ramane nimic din ele si cum trebuie pus ceva in loc se trage o dara cu un creion moale si negru, genele sunt lungite de zici ca vor sa o apere de ploaie, ochii sunt pusi in evidenta prin zugravirea zonelor limitrofe lor in culori de papagal tropical, iar pielii ii mai creste un strat de 1 pana la 3 milimetri grosime de fond de ten, depinzand ce altitudinea celui mai inalt cos de pe barba.
" Coafor "
– loc de intalnire si barfa, compus in mod obligatoriu dintr-un salon prevazut cu casti de uscat parul, cu dusuri la scaun pentru spalare, cu un miros intepator de parfum, si cu minim 2 barbati care vorbesc cu "ce faci, fato" "vai ce bine iti sta azi" "mergem diseara la balet? " si care merg cu pasi mici, mici, mici, si aproape pe varfuri. Acolo isi petrec ele cateva ore in cea mai mare taina, punand urmatoarele modalitati de a-si otravi consortii, la punct, in timp ce barbatii mai sus amintiti le cauta prin cap, dandu-le sugestii de frezura, datatoare de atac de cord, sperietura sora cu moartea sau orbire brusca, barbatilor care le asteapta cuminti acasa..
" Dieta "
– motiv pentru care nici tu nu mai poti atinge nici un fel de carne, dulciu, grasime, paine sau produs lactat, si trebuie sa rumegi cat e ziua de lunga frunze de bananier, iarba de canada, urzici de coltul blocului, soia, si alte alimente specifice vacilor
– stare de nervozitate manifestata printr-o privire flamanda si prin clantanitul necontrolat al dintilor, care dispare doar sub privirea invidioasa a prietenelor cand le anunta triumfatoare "sunt la dieta". Noroc ca nu tine prea mult…
" Toc "
– cui care pleaca din calcai si se infinge in sol, incercand sa eleveze femeia cu cel putin jumatate de cap pentru a vedea mai bine pe unde merge. Tocul este extrem de util pentru o anumita categorie de barbati, asa numitii pampalai, papa-lapte, oua moi, gelatini, carora le face mai mult spatiu, acolo unde stau ei, sub papuc.
" Unghii"
- suport pentru niste chimicale colorate si urat mirositoare care iti lipesc parul de nas si fac becurile sa fileze de fiecare data cand ea sta cu degetele de la maini si picioare raschirate in toate partile si iti cere sa o scarpini dupa ureche ( nu ma pot misca tati ca mi se strica unghiile ).
" Gheare "
– varietate de unghii, tratate cu chimicale sau nu, folosite pentru scos ochii in situatii variate cum ar fi lupta pentru unica poseta ramasa la reducere sau pentru ultima pereche de pantofi cu fundita de pe stoc.
" Permis de conducere "
– bucatica de plastic trasa in tipla care atesta urmatoarele capacitati feminine:
* de a-si aranja cu succes parul in retrovizoare, in mers;
* de a apasa pe frana si ambreiaj la pornire ( naiba sa o ia de masina ce are de nu porneste ? );
* de a face parcarea laterala paralel cu locul liber dintre doua masini cu 10 metri intre ele
* de a deschide portiera in botul unei masini conduse de un barbat (ati vazut cum era sa ma omoare cremenalu?)
Si multe altele care atesta sistemul extraordinar de crunt si exigent prin care politia romana elibereaza permise de conducere.
" Mecanica " zambet
– stiinta femeii de a strange in jurul masinii stricate (pentru ca nu a schimbat uleiul, nu a pus benzina, a incercat sa porneasca cu frana de mana trasa pana au sarit bujiile, a lasat farurile aprinse (auzi de ce tipa masina de fiecare data cand ies din ea? cand ai plecat tu nu facea asa…), sau din varii alte cauze naturale ) vreo duzina de mesteri mecanici si ingineri nucleari care mai de care mai experimentat in suptul furtunului de alimentare.
" Curatenie "
– una din obsesiile cele mai violente ale femeii cu repercusiuni grave asupra psihicului masculin. Dupa atacurile verbale tocatoare de creieri despre cum iti arunci sosetele aburinde pe unde nu e cazul, despre cum nu strangi niciodata dupa tine si alte nimicuri de astea, vine consecinta cea mai dureroasa a acestui procedeu: orice lucru de care ai cat de cat nevoie sa iti fie la indemana dispare cu desavarsire si trebuie sa aduci cainele de vanatoare al vecinului pentru a-l gasi, evident ea nestiind unde l-a pus cand a facut ordine.

Cum refuza romancele barbatii, pe zone

Ardelencele. Mă, iubi, mă, nu vreau amu. Nu te supăra pe mine, da’ io zic s-o lăsăm pă mâne. Bine, dacă vrei ţi-o fac oral o ţâră, dar să ştii că nu am chef dă mai mult, că mă simt aşa de moleşită, aşa lenevoasă. Bine, iubi? Hai, mă, promit că în uichend stau şi io mai mult şi poate ne uităm la un film de care-ţi place ţie…

Oltencele. Tuţi apraşteul tău azi şi mâine, păi ce futai îţi trebuie ţie acum? Păi tu nu văzuşi că fusei 9 ore la muncă, bă trântorule? Şi făcui ciorba, şi am adunat de prin casă după voi. Mama voastră de trântori. Niciun futai în seara asta, n-am nici o scârbă de chef. Lasă-mă în pace! Arză-te-ar focu’ de bărbat bun la nimic! Auzi, mă, la el, io-s caldă în gură de atâta muncă şi lui îi trebuie să se suie pe mine.

Săsoaicele. Hansel, liebe! Ich bin suparate pe tine, nu arbait, kaine bani, kaine facem sex. Das ist un erzaţ de sentiment daca nu ezist comunicaţion. Tu vrei ain-ţvai la dormitor, prima dat trebuie respect, ich nu pot sa face cu tine ceva zer gut daca tu nu ai pozition social stabil, aber ţuruc la fabric! Hoite ich habe nicht liebe pentru tine. Auf viderzen!

Moldovencele. Mă, ştii şe? Pi mini nu mă mai duşi tu cu zăhărelul ca ultima oară, când ai zis că dacă-ţi pun fofo pi gură, baţi şi tu covoarele şelea. Deci pi mini să mă laşi în paci. Sau, oi videa, dacă-mi dai bani pintru coafor, poate îţi arăt o ţâţă şi ti duci să ti rizolvi la baie. M-am săturat di toati – când bei urli la mini, când eşti treaz, vrei să-mi bagi papuşoiu în chiseliţă.

Maramureşencele. Barbati, nu vreau nimic cu tine asta seara. Lasă că vedem mâine sau la sfârşitul săptămânii. Du-te dacă ţi-e foame, că am făcut salata de boeuf, şniţele, supă, chiftele şi ardei copţi. Hai, nu mai insista, că oricum nu facem nimic. Chiar nu am dispoziţia necesară. Du-te şi mănâncă dacă vrei, că deja e târziu şi te văd cam obosit. Trebuie să şi dormi, vrei să faci tensiune?

Dobrogencele. Bine, hai s-o facem. Dar dă-mi şi tu bluza asta jos, ştii că nu-mi place cu ea pe mine. Iarăşi eşti cu şosetele? Eşti perfect convins că aici nu eşti la curve, da? Păi serios. Auzi, hai s-o lăsăm pe altădată. Şi mai învaţă şi tu ce e ăla preludiu, că m-am saturat să mă umezesc la comandă!

Evreicele. Ştii, dragă, mâine e Yom Kippur şi rabi a spus că trebuie să fim coşer. Trebuie să respectăm Tora, tu ştii că familia noastră are bun renume. Mai bine hai spune-mi ce profit ai obţinut din afacerea cu Şloim? Hai, că trebuie să numărăm banii şi să-i punem la locul ştiut. Lasă alte preocupări acum, nu avem timp, ce, vrei să dăm faliment?!

Muntencele. Auzi, sincer, io-mi bag picioarele! Băi, obsedatule, da tu chiar nu te-ai săturat aşa, de tine?? Toată ziua îţi trebuie, parcă eşti pe alcaline. Păi mai termină, băi, că deja mă scoţi din sărite, zău! Io îi zic lu mă-ta că nu pot să stau cu un obsedat sexual ca tine, că aşa ceva nu se mai poate. Ce te faci dacă-s plecată?

Bănăţencele. Dragă, tu ştii cât ţiu eu la tine, tu eşti cel mai grozav bărbat de pe lume, totdeauna am apreciat asta la tine şi m-ai satisfăcut întotdeauna până la maxim. Dar eu sunt o doamnă, ştii că azi e ziua mea de coafor, manicură, azi vreau să mă fac frumoasă pentru tine, aş vre să-mi cumperi şi brăţara care am văzut-o ieri la bijutier, o să mi-o pun când o să fiu goală cu tine în dormitor, asta va fi la sfârşit de săptămână, da?, până atunci mă voi gândi numai la tine. Pa, armăsarule!

Unguroaicele. Ioi, Pişta dragam, aşteptat atâta pe tine! Vrei să face la tine sex? Hai, anghialom, se bem ceva! Egeşege, no hai inche un pahar. Ioi de jo! Finom o palinka, hai se bem! Şi inche un pahar pentru mine… Un pahar pentru apu, un pahar pentru aniu… Ai adormit, edeşem? Ez oz! Gyuri, hai la lontru, că disno de barbat a dat in primire! Ioi ce mult aşteptat pe tine!

luni, 16 mai 2011

TOP 9 Cuvinte fatale folosite de femei in comunicarea cu barbatii

1.Bine
Este expresia pe care femeile o folosesc atunci cand doresc sa incheie o discutie in care ele au dreptate iar tu trebuie sa taci

2.Cinci minute
Dacă se îmbracă înseamnă jumătate de oră.Cinci minute inseamnă câteva minute doar atunci când te pui să te joci la calculator înainte de a te apuca să faci ceva pe lângă casă.

3.Nimic
Este liniştea dinaintea furtunii.Înseamnă că trebuie să fii pe vârful picioarelor.Dacă eşti in casă asigură-te că nu este nimic între tine şi uşă.Discuţiile care incep cu"nimic" se termină de obicei cu"bine"

4.Oftatul cu voce tare
Aceasta este defapt un cuvânt.Face parte din comunicarea nonverbală,chestie la care la fel ca la îmbrăcăminte majoritatea bărbaţilor nu se pricep.Când ea oftează cu voce tare înseamnă că tu eşti un idiot şi ea se miră de ce iroseşte timpul discutând cu tine despre nimic.(Întoarceţi-vă la punctul 3 pentru înţelesul cuvântului "nimic")

5.Mulţumesc
O femeie îţi mulţumeşte.Nu pune întrebări şi nu leşina.Spune doar"cu plăcere".(Atenţie dar!Mulţumirea a fost adevărată atâta timp cât femeia nu ţi-a zis "mulţumesc mult" pentru că in cjavascript:void(0)azul acesta este pur sarcasm,nu îţi mulţumeşte deloc.Nu spune "cu plăcere" căci aceasta va aduce un"Nu contează")

6.Nu contează
Este felul unei femei de a zice "du-te naibii"

7.Lasă că fac eu
Poate fi auzit după ce o femeia a rugat bărbatul în mai multe rânduri să face ceva pentru ca până la urmă să facă tot ea.Aceasta aduce inevitabil mai târziu din partea bărbatului întrebarea"Ce nu-i bine" Pentru ca femeia să răspundă cu punctul 3.

8.Fă ce vrei
Este o poruncă.O interdicţie.Nu îndrăzni să faci

9.E ok,stai liniştit
Te afli în faţa unei situaţii din foarte periculoase din comunicarea bărbat-femeie.Ea tocmai nu vrea să îţi dea de bănuit că urmează să-şi ia un timp special ca să se gândească cum trebuie să plăteşti pentru greşelile tale.

joi, 5 mai 2011

TOP Top 25 Universities Of The World

25. Kyoto University, Japan
Kyoto University rated as 25th best university in World University Rankings. Founded in 1897, Kyoto University has deeply considered its traditions of liberal and academic freedom, educating many. We continue to actively maintain these principles, which are the foundation of academic freedom. Kyoto University places top priority on basic research, develops advanced technology leading to the acquisition of intellectual property, and then returns this knowledge to society through education, social cooperation, and the opportunity for lifelong education. Kyoto University has 3 campuses nestled in a basin, which forms the main part of Kyoto, a city which in tradition and culture of which Kyoto University is a part. 24 More universities after the break...
24. University of Hong Kong
University of Hong Kong rated as 24th best university in World University Rankings . The University of Hong Kong is the territory’s oldest university, and with a history that stretches back more than 90 years, it has grown with and helped shape the city from which it takes its name. The University of Hong Kong, as a pre-eminent international university in Asia, seeks to sustain and enhance its excellence as an institution of higher learning through outstanding teaching and world-class research so as to produce well-rounded graduates with lifelong abilities to provide leadership within the societies they serve. HKU has won a proud reputation as a world-class comprehensive research university. It offers internationally recognized qualifications and it is renowned for its academic and research excellence worldwide. As an English-medium university in China, HKU also offers researchers unique opportunities to bridge cultures and continents, and to explore more on China-related studies.
23. King’s College London
King’s College London rated as 23rd best university in World University Rankings. King’s College London is a constituent college of the University of London in the United Kingdom. The college was founded by King George IV and the Duke of Wellington in 1829, and its royal charter is predated in England only by those of Oxford University and Cambridge University.. There are currently more than 19,000 students in nine Schools of study based at our five London campuses. We offer a vast range of undergraduate programmes, and whichever programme you choose to pursue, you will work with academics who are often national or international leaders in their field. As an undergraduate at King’s, you will become part of a vibrant and intellectually stimulating community. You will be inspired by researchers, discoverers and inventors who are pushing the boundaries of knowledge and will mix with students from across the UK, Europe and almost every country in the world. King’s has played a major role in many of the advances that have shaped modern life, such as the discovery of the structure of DNA. It is the largest centre for the education of healthcare professionals in Europe and is home to five Medical Research Council Centres – more than any other university.
22. University of Tokyo
University of Tokyo rated as 22th best university in World University Rankings. The University of Tokyo abbreviated as Todai, is a major research university located in Tokyo, Japan. The University has 10 faculties with a total of around 30,000 students, 2,100 of whom are foreign. Its five campuses are in Hongo-, Komaba, Kashiwa, Shirokane and Nakano. It is considered to be one of the most prestigious universities in Japan.
21. University of Edinburgh
University of Edinburgh rated as 21st best university in World University Rankings. The University of Edinburgh was founded in 1583, making it one of Scotland’s ancient universities. The University offers over 600 first degree programmes, which includes over 300 joint degree combinations, spread across some 100 academic disciplines. More than 22,000 students study here, from all over the world and from a variety of backgrounds. The University has 22 Schools in three Colleges: Humanities & Social Science, Medicine & Veterinary Medicine, and Science & Engineering. World renowned and well respected, a degree from the University of Edinburgh will be recognised wherever you go. The University of Edinburgh’s success is not limited to Scotland, or even the UK. We have a well-deserved international reputation for excellence, as demonstrated in our partnerships with other key institutions worldwide, such as our work with Stanford University on Informatics. Many of our degree programmes offer the opportunity to spend some time studying abroad. Perhaps this international dimension helps explain why we have the largest proportion of international students of any Scottish university.

20. ETH Zurich (Swiss Federal Institute of Technology)
ETH Zurich (Swiss Federal Institute of Technology) rated as 20th best university in World University Rankings. ETH Zurich’s 16 departments offer Bachelor, Master and Doctoral programmes in engineering and natural sciences. The language of instruction in the Bachelor programmes is German, whereas English is the prime language on the graduate level. All degree programmes provide a solid scientific foundation combined with outstanding all-round skills, equipping ETH graduates with the abilities and flexibility needed for a career in industry, business or the public sector, as entrepreneur or scientist.
19. University of Michigan, United States
University of Michigan rated as 18th best university in World University Rankings. The University of Michigan, one of the world’s leading public universities, has 26,000 undergraduate and 15,000 graduate/professional students from all 50 states and 117 countries. Students may choose from over 200 undergraduate majors, over 90 master’s programs, and over 100 doctoral programs. Numerous research and study abroad opportunities are offered at both the undergraduate and graduate levels. A wide variety of social, cultural, and athletic activities are available. There is something for everyone here. The University is located in the culturally rich and exciting community of Ann Arbor. Distinct yet closely integrated with the University, Ann Arbor offers its own array of social and cultural offerings, to which University students are enthusiastically welcomed. The city is home to numerous parks and athletic facilities, and boasts an excellent public transportation system.

18. Mcgill University, Canada
Mcgill University rated as 18th best university in World University Rankings. Innovative research programs and cutting-edge facilities including our brand new Life Sciences Complex attract internationally respected faculty. Our faculty excel at research; in 2008, McGill professors Nahum Sonenberg and Charles Taylor took home, respectively, the Gairdner International Award and the Kyoto Prize, two of the world’s top research prizes. McGill’s faculty are committed to excellence in teaching, too, bringing their cutting-edge breakthroughs into the classroom. McGill’s 21 faculties and professional schools offer degrees in more than 300 fields of study. McGill offers a full range of bachelor’s, master’s, and doctoral programs as well as professional degrees in law, dentistry, business and medicine. The world-renowned Faculty of Medicine has four affiliated teaching hospitals and graduates more than 1,000 health care professionals each year.
17. Australian National University
Australian National University rated as 17th best university in World University Rankings. The Australian National University is one of the world’s foremost research universities. Distinguished by its relentless pursuit of excellence, ANU attracts leading academics and outstanding students from Australia and around the world. The primary educational objective of ANU is to become the university of choice for talented students locally, nationally and internationally by offering a unique range of research-led degree programs. Graduate education continues as one of the major focuses of the University and about one quarter of the total enrolment is undertaking post-graduate study. Regardless of whether those students are enrolled in the Institute of Advanced Studies or the Faculties, the full resources of both and of University Centres are available to them through the Graduate School.

16. Stanford University, United States
Stanford University rated as 16th best university in World University Rankings. Stanford University, founded in 1885, is recognized as one of the world’s leading research and teaching institutions, with one of the most renowned faculties in the nation. Stanford students men and women of all races, ethnicities and ages are distinguished by their love of learning and desire to contribute to the greater community. Stanford University offers its students a remarkable range of academic and extracurricular activities. We are committed to offering an education that is unrivaled among research universities.

15. Cornell University, United States
Cornell University rated as 15th best university in World University Rankings. Once called “the first American university” by educational historian Frederick Rudolph, Cornell University represents a distinctive mix of eminent scholarship and democratic ideals. Adding practical subjects to the classics and admitting qualified students regardless of nationality, race, social circumstance, gender, or religion was quite a departure when Cornell was founded in 1865. Today’s Cornell reflects this heritage of egalitarian excellence. It is home to the nation’s first colleges devoted to hotel administration, industrial and labor relations, and veterinary medicine. Both a private university and the land-grant institution of New York State, Cornell University is the most educationally diverse member of the Ivy League.
14. Duke University, United States
Duke University rated as 14th best university in World University Rankings. Duke University was created in 1924 by James Buchanan Duke as a memorial to his father, Washington Duke. The Dukes, a Durham family that built a worldwide financial empire in the manufacture of tobacco and developed electricity production in the Carolinas, long had been interested in Trinity College. Trinity traced its roots to 1838 in nearby Randolph County when local Methodist and Quaker communities opened Union Institute. The school, then-named Trinity College, moved to Durham in 1892. In December 1924, the provisions of James B. Duke’s indenture created the family philanthropic foundation, The Duke Endowment, which provided for the expansion of Trinity College into Duke University.

13. Johns Hopkins University, United States
Johns Hopkins University rated as 13th best university in World University Rankings. The Johns Hopkins University, founded in Baltimore in 1876, was the first university in the Western Hemisphere founded on the model of the European research institution, where research and the advancement of knowledge were integrally linked to teaching. Its establishment began a revolution in U.S. higher education. The Johns Hopkins University, commonly referred to as Johns Hopkins, JHU, or simply Hopkins, is a private research university located in Baltimore, Maryland, United States. Johns Hopkins also maintains full-time campuses elsewhere in Maryland, Washington, D.C., Italy, China, and Singapore. Johns Hopkins University has an affiliated hospital and medical school. It is one of fourteen founding members of the Association of American Universities.

12. University of Pennsylvania, United States
University of Pennsylvania rated as 12th best university in World University Rankings. The University of Pennsylvania (commonly referred to as Penn or UPenn) is a private research university located in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA. Penn is the fourth-oldest institution of higher education in the United States, and is one of several institutions that claims to have been the first university in America. Penn is a member of the Ivy League and is one of the Colonial Colleges. University of Pennsylvania has been committed to excellence in scholarship, research and service. From its highly regarded undergraduate, graduate and professional schools to its wide-ranging program of interdisciplinary research and scholarship, Penn takes pride in being a place where students and faculty can pursue knowledge without boundaries, a place where theory and practice combine to produce a better understanding of our world and ourselves.

11. Columbia University, United States
Columbia University rated as 11th best university in World University Rankings. Columbia University is one of the world’s most important centers of research and at the same time a distinctive and distinguished learning environment for undergraduates and graduate students in many scholarly and professional fields. The University recognizes the importance of its location in New York City and seeks to link its research and teaching to the vast resources of a great metropolis. It seeks to attract a diverse and international faculty and student body, to support research and teaching on global issues, and to create academic relationships with many countries and regions. It expects all areas of the university to advance knowledge and learning at the highest level and to convey the products of its efforts to the world.

10. California Institute of Technology (caltech)
California Institute of Technology (caltech) rated as 10th best university in World University Rankings. The mission of the California Institute of Technology is to expand human knowledge and benefit society through research integrated with education. We investigate the most challenging, fundamental problems in science and technology in a singularly collegial, interdisciplinary atmosphere, while educating outstanding students to become creative members of society.
09. Massachusetts Institute of Technology (mit), United States
Massachusetts Institute of Technology (mit) rated as 9th best university in World University Rankings. The Institute is committed to generating, disseminating, and preserving knowledge, and to working with others to bring this knowledge to bear on the world’s great challenges. MIT is dedicated to providing its students with an education that combines rigorous academic study and the excitement of discovery with the support and intellectual stimulation of a diverse campus community. We seek to develop in each member of the MIT community the ability and passion to work wisely, creatively, and effectively for the betterment of humankind.The mission of MIT is to advance knowledge and educate students in science, technology, and other areas of scholarship that will best serve the nation and the world in the 21st century.
08. PRINCETON University, United States
PRINCETON University rated as 8th best university in World University Rankings. Princeton is the fourth-oldest college in the United States. As a research university, it seeks to achieve the highest levels of distinction in the discovery and transmission of knowledge and understanding, and in the education of graduate students. At the same time, Princeton is distinctive among research universities in its commitment to undergraduate teaching. The University provides its students with academic, extracurricular and other resources — in a residential community committed to diversity in its student body, faculty and staff — that help them achieve at the highest scholarly levels and prepare them for positions of leadership and lives of service in many fields of human endeavor.
07. University of CHICAGO, United States
University of CHICAGO rated as the 7th best university in World University Rankings. The University of Chicago was founded in 1890 by the American Baptist Education Society and oil magnate John D. Rockefeller. The University of Chicago has had a profound impact on American higher education; curricula across the country have been influenced by the emphasis on broad humanistic and scientific undergraduate education. The University also has a well-deserved reputation as the teacher of teachers.
06. University of OXFORD, United Kingdom
University of OXFORD rated the sixth best university in World University Rankings. Oxford is the oldest university in the English-speaking world and lays claim to nine centuries of continuous existence. As an internationally renowned centre for teaching and research, Oxford attracts students and scholars from across the globe, with almost a quarter of our students from overseas. More than 130 nationalities are represented among a student population of over 18,000. Oxford is a collegiate university, with 39 self-governing colleges related to the University in a type of federal system. There are also seven Permanent Private Halls, founded by different Christian denominations. Thirty colleges and all halls admit students for both undergraduate and graduate degrees. Seven other colleges are for graduates only; one has Fellows only, and one specializes in part-time and continuing education.
05. IMPERIAL College London
Imperial College London, rated the fifth best university in the world for. Imperial College London is a university of world class scholarship, education and research in science, engineering and medicine, with particular regard to their application in industry, commerce and healthcare. The College has over 3,000 academic and research staff and almost 14,000 students from over 120 different countries. Our reputation for excellence in teaching and research in science, engineering, medicine and business attracts students and staff of the highest international calibre. Imperial College staff are frequently consulted by governments, and also act as members of professional bodies, advise industry, and offer informed comment to the media.

04. UCL (University College London)
UCL (University College London) rated the fourth best university in World University Rankings. UCL is a multidisciplinary university with an international reputation for the quality of its research and teaching across the academic spectrum, with subjects spanning the sciences, arts, social sciences and biomedicine. In the 2008 Research Assessment Exercise (RAE) UCL was rated the best research university in London, and third in the UK overall, for the number of its submissions which were considered of world-leading quality. The university is located on a compact site in the very heart of London and is surrounded by the greatest concentration of libraries, museums, archives, cultural institutions and professional bodies in Europe.

03. Yale University, United States
Yale University rated as third best university in the World University Rankings. Yale University is one of the most famous schools in the United States, with a long history of service and an alumni list that reads like a “Who’s Who” of successful people. Yale University is the fulfillment of a European vision of intellectual freedom that is aimed at the service of the community and country. It has championed over history and survived the most destructive calamities such as the American Revolution. Since then, the university has continually grown and progressed to a center for high quality education that is recognized by the global community. The university is considered one of the oldest institution of higher education in the US. It was founded in 1701 and is a proud member of the prestigious Ivy League.
02. University of Cambridge, United Kingdom
University of Cambridge rated the second best in World University Rankings. The University of Cambridge is one of the oldest universities in the world and one of the largest in the United Kingdom. Its reputation for outstanding academic achievement is known world-wide and reflects the intellectual achievement of its students, as well as the world-class original research carried out by the staff of the University and the Colleges. Its reputation is endorsed by the Quality Assurance Agency and by other external reviewers of learning and teaching, such as External Examiners. These high standards are the result of both the learning opportunities offered at Cambridge and by its extensive resources, including libraries, museums and other collections. Teaching consists not only of lectures, seminars and practical classes led by people who are world experts in their field, but also more personalised teaching arranged through the Colleges. Many opportunities exist for students to interact with scholars of all levels, both formally and informally.
01. Harvard University, United States
Harvard University rated as the number one university in World University Rankings. Harvard is America’s oldest institution of higher learning, founded 140 years before the Declaration of Independence was signed. The University has grown from nine students with a single master to an enrollment of more than 18,000 degree candidates, including undergraduates and students in 10 principal academic units. An additional 13,000 students are enrolled in one or more courses in the Harvard Extension School. Over 14,000 people work at Harvard, including more than 2,000 faculty. There are also 7,000 faculty appointments in affiliated teaching hospitals.
Via Link