Though we live in an insouciant age, where shock and consternation are but the sensibilities of a bygone era, we can’t help but feel a little, say, distaste at some of the album covers those musical reprobates have sent to try us. While some are so deeply inappropriate we daren’t publish them here, others, like the above cover of the album Smile a While, by German heavy metal band, Brainstorm, leave us simply unnerved, bemused, or smiling a while.
Millie Jackson – Back to the S..t
We’re not smiling at Millie Jackson’s 1989 Back to the S..t album cover, though. We defy anyone not to recoil at this sight of Millie on the dunny.
Betty Staples – Organ Fantasy
The smile, the balloons, the party hat in Betty’s hair, the innocent pairing of the words ‘organ’ and ‘fantasy’. We love it!
Keith Rowland – My Beauty
We’ve nothing against men in feminine attire, but in Keith’s case, we’re just not sure he pulls it off.
Barry Louis Polisar – I Eat Kids
There’s a palpable incongruousness between the title of this album and the happy-homestead snap. Barry, we’re baffled.
Paddy Roberts – Songs for Gay Dogs
From the days when ‘gay’ meant ‘happy’. Still, ‘Songs for Happy Dogs’: it’s a strange concept.
The Frivolous Five – Sour Cream and Other Delights
Who put them up to this?
The Brothers Johnson – Light up the Night
Here are The Brothers Johnson, a band consisting of the musicians, and brothers, George aka ‘Lightnin’ Licks’ and Louis Jagger Johnson, aka ‘Thunder Thumbs’, displaying brotherly love.
There’s no doubt that life can be tough for little people. However, while screen icons like Kenny Baker (R2-D2) and Warrick Davies (Willow, Wicket and the Leprechaun) might have married people their own height, many of their contemporaries have aimed higher – and found themselves with some beautiful full-sized ladies. Here are 7 awesome little celebrities with partners (almost) twice their size.
7. Verne Troyer with Genevieve Gallen and Ranae Shrider
The one, the only, it’s Mini-Me. At 2ft 8in Verne Troyer is one of the smallest people in the world. At 25 years of age he stood in for a 9-month-old baby in the 1994 film Baby’s Day Out. Nevertheless, the ladies have flocked after him. In 2004 he married former Playboy centerfold Genevieve Gallen – though, following a reported annulment, Troyer and his agent insist that the marriage never took place. Nevertheless, Genevieve was happy to report in 2009 that the pair had enjoyed 10-times-a-day yogic sex marathons, lasting up to 45 minutes apiece. As if that wasn’t enough, Troyer had his own sex tape scandal when former live-in girlfriend, actress Ranae Shrider, leaked a home video to TMZ, showing the couple spending the Easter Weekend at the Raffles L’Ermitage hotel. Troyer was not best pleased – but quite frankly, he hasn’t done badly by anyone’s standards.
6. Bushwick Bill and Cindy Angelle
A member of the Geto Boys, Bushwick Bill is most famous for a horrible incident that took place almost 20 years ago, in 1991. One night, drunk, depressed and suicidal, he drove to his then girlfriend’s house and asked her to shoot him. She refused, but after a struggle he was shot in the head, leaving him blind in one eye and with a bullet in his brain. Fortunately he’s now engaged to his longtime girlfriend and assistant Cindy Angelle – who is a fox. Looking at the picture below you’ll note that in the picture above, she’s a fox standing in a hole.
5. “Wee Man” Jason Acuna and Lots of Ladies
Jason “Wee Man” Acuna can be seen throughout the Jackass franchise, quite simply wrecking stuff up. The pro skater also put his smaller stature to (dubiously) good use with stunts such as dressing as an Oompa-Loompa and kicking himself in the head. As a true badass, it’s perhaps not surprising that Acuna has been photographed with a number of lovely lady friends over the years.
4. Peter Dinklage and Erica Schmidt
You might remember Peter Dinklage from the film Elf, in which he beat up Will Ferrell’s character after he repeatedly called him a Christmas elf – or you might have seen him being tied up and accidentally murdered, twice over, in Death at a Funeral, 2007 and 2010. We imagine he’s not quite so angry in real life – seen above and below with his wife, theater director Erica Schmidt. One distinguished looking couple.
3. Eric “the Midget” Lynch and Kendra
Eric Lynch, aka Eric the Midget, of Howard Stern’s Wack Pack, is a strange, angry man. Eric is characterized by his bizarre behavior, ranging between fury, petulance and ingratitude. In early 2008 he launched a new campaign of oddness by claiming that he was in a relationship with a softcore webcam model named Kendra. It was never entirely clear whether or not the relationship was a fake (though he swore on his mother’s life that it wasn’t), though the dial certainly swung back and forth. One woman who Eric definitely has slept with is Air Force Amy of the Bunny Ranch, on New Year’s Eve 2008. Eric wasn’t best pleased about Howard publicizing photos of this even on his show and his parents apparently threatened to cut him off over the incident. You’ll notice his “dignity” is “protected” by a Kelly Clarkson t-shirt here.
2. Dylan Postl (aka Hornswoggle)
Dylan Postl is better known as the WWE character Hornswoggle – the leprechaun mascot-son of ‘Irish’ wrestler Finlay (and not an illegitimate McMahon as one storyline suggested). He was also the WWE’s last Cruiserweight Champion before the belt was deactivated. Having gone by the nickname “The World’s Sexiest Midget,” Hornswoggle has also had his fair share of success with the ladies, and is rumored to have dated original diva Sunny (real name Tammy Lynn Sytch), above, as well as actress, model and former wrestling pro Stacy Keibler. Some suggest the latter relationship was a hoax fed to British tabloids after Stacey declined to appear at WrestleMania 25’s Battle Royal – but we’re sure no one would make something like that up.
1. Gary Coleman and Shannon Price
The late, great Gary Coleman was one the most famous little people of all time – without technically being a midget. Truly the man lived a chaotic life: there was the $3.8m lawsuit against his parents, the car accidents and the assault. Then there was his 2007 marriage to Shannon Price, only months after he met her on the set of Church Ball, where she was working as an extra. They divorced in August 2008 (following an appearance on TV show Divorces Court) but were said to have lived together until his death. Little man; lot o’ drama.
The function of condoms is not just as a means of family planning or safety course. You can make condoms as part of foreplay to making love to a different atmosphere. Especially this time of condoms available in a variety of texture and aroma. So you do not upset the following select the types of condoms that many on the market.
1. Condom with smell and taste
Added Value: You can choose your favorite scent, such as chocolate, strawberry, durian, banana and mint. Adjust to your taste and your partner to have sex activity more 'hot'.
2. Threaded condoms (ribbed condom)
Added Value: This species has a unique one in its threaded to increase your enjoyment and your partner.
3. Extra thin condoms (extra thin)
Value Added: This type of one made from rubber with a very thin size. As a result, you and your husband made love as if without using a condom.
4. Condom spots (dotted condom)
Added Value: this type of spots around that can lead to surprising effects for women.
5. Condoms are an extra safety (extra safe)
Sensation: this type of additional lubricant, and contains extra protection to prevent pregnancy.
6. Female condom
Sensation: Condoms are also made of latex or polyurethane, so elastic and flexible, this condom is more caused a sensation or stimulus. Especially for a man who less likely to use condoms.
7. Condoms twist
Sensation: This type is designed specifically to stimulate your sensitive areas and partners.
8. Vibrating condom
Sensation: condom is equipped with a vibrating ring at the end. Condoms are using special batteries to move the ring vibrations can last up to 30 minutes.
9. Condoms Baggy Sensation: This type of shape a little larger in the end and has a screw in the body, for to maximize the movement during lovemaking.
10. Condoms with extra strong medicine
Sensation: one type of condom is packed with lubricants that contain powerful drugs. Interested to try?
Sex education comes in all shapes and sizes – but it doesn’t matter how big it is, it’s what you do with it that counts. Apparently. Whether we’re being told to put a hat on it or that promiscuity will lead to an untimely death, sex ed can be pretty darn weird. Here are 25 of the strangest campaigns ever seen!
25) Spit or swallow
While this might theoretically be a good idea, it’s plainly not. Can you catch STDs from oral sex? Yes. Should you find out before you have a mouthful of j***? Yes, you probably should. And, as seen in the video below, do you really wander round and bump into people with a mouthful of man milk?
24) Pet murder
Look at this miserable chihuahua – it looks like it’s dying. In fact it probably is, because you’ve decided to ‘keep it safe’ by stuffing it into a tiny plastic sock. The only way this could be ‘keeping it safe’ is if you’re sending it somewhere truly terrible – and you really shouldn’t do that. Lesson: don’t keep living things in a condom. Unless it’s your old chap, that is!
23) Pet contraception
‘Animals need safe sex, too’? No, they really, really don’t, because neutering just isn’t the same as safe sex. This woman is holding up a condom while advocating removing your pet’s sexual organs – making it broadly incapable of sexual activity of any kind, let alone the safe kind. But then who really would want to pick up doggy condoms?
22) Good time girls will make you die of syphilis
This might not come as a surprise to you but there are three types of women – pick ups, “good time” girls and prostitutes. And they’ll all give you syphilis. The only thing that this fantastically politically incorrect poster leaves out is the fact that, unlikely as it might sound, seamen might just be spreading STDs on their own.
21) Creepy. Creepy. Creepy
Directed by Mathieu Mortelmans, this MTV ‘Staying Alive’ video is extraordinarily uncomfortable. As we all know, promiscuous sex equals death. And your partner is probably going to be gleefully involved in killing you. Yikes.
20) Because your mother hates you
This is why no one wants to live with their parents. Because their mother watches them having sex and then mimes fellatio at them. Created as part of the GI Jonny teen safe sex campaign for the BBC, the ads caused a bit of a stir, with parents calling them “disgusting”, “degrading” “filth”. The kind of things you’re exposed to in the family home, eh?
19) Look out behind you!
So Hitler does you up the wrong ‘un. And then he gives you AIDS. What a b******. Through this German AIDS-awareness campaign, the Dirk Silz advertising agency was trying to make the point that you should really check who you’re sleeping with. However, they were subsequently criticized for having accused people with AIDS of being like Hitler. Who’d have thought it, eh? Below is uncle Joe Stalin getting it on.
18) Hitler sperm
Of course, if Hitler did sleep with you, it was probably because he wanted to shoot one of these up you. Quite rightly, the thorough application of condoms would mean that no bad person would ever have been born. Such as Chairman Mao. See below.
17) Nearly never
We’d make the point that safe sex is frequently wrong. Of course, safe sex between adults, we’re fine with. But that doesn’t cover quite all of safe sex… Whatever JWT’s claymation S&M angels might be about to get up to…
16) Let’s talk about your stiffy!
The wood paneling. The sofa bed. The creepy man telling the boy about erections. And persistently asking him if he ever gets them. This is like a scene from your nightmares. Because as we know there’s nothing worse than talking to children about sex.
15) Apart from one thing
Well, maybe there’s one thing worse. Having children. If there’s one side effect of having sex without using contraception which is even more reliable than dying of STDs, it’s getting pregnant and having children. Then at some point, you’re going to have to tell them about sex.
14) Speaking of which…
Sure, it’s fine to hug people who have AIDS, just so long as you don’t share blood transfusions with them and so on. We understand this and, sure, people didn’t get this in 1987, when this poster was made. Nevertheless we don’t want to hug children with AIDS. We don’t want to hug children without AIDS. They have snot coming out of them.
13) The most awkward thing of all
Boy masturbates. His mother turns up, impassively lectures him in an alarmingly deadpan fashion, leaves. He carries on masturbating. At least she didn’t imitate fellatio, I suppose. The wonders of living in a more innocent age, eh?
12) Condoman
Would you trust this jackass to give you advice about sex? He’s wearing what’s either a wetsuit or a full body sheath. Nobody’s getting STDs wearing that thing! But where’s his head going? Then there’s his advice: “Don’t be shame.” Does he mean “ashamed”? Because he didn’t say it.
11) AIDS will even kill stickmen
Maybe Condoman is right to be worried about AIDS – it even kills stick men. This guy looks like he had an awesome time before throwing up, lying down and then dying. We had thought stick men were pretty impervious to harm, what with their lack of organs or body tissues. But AIDS – it’s a killer.
10) Don’t we all want to do this?
So you’d never go in unprepared? But this guy does have a submachine gun, after all. If you’re carrying protection, you’re fine, right? That’s why we ’sleep’ with a pistol under the pillow. On the other hand, running around naked with a machine gun does look like the most fun you could possibly ever have.
9) Spot the homo!
Getting picked up by curb crawling men, who bear a “dangerous and contagious” “sickness of the mind”? Are we talking about pedophiles? No, we’re talking about their close cousins, the homosexuals, for whom boys on the 1950s should be on the look out. So they can avoid them, obviously. Somewhat politically incorrect, we think.
8) This guy’s an HIV fan. What an ass hat
Does this man have HIV? Is he spreading it? We don’t know. But he is apparently supporting it, which officially makes him an ass hat. Notwithstanding this bizarre, artificial situation, who would support HIV? Why? What are they even talking about?
7) More awkward children
We know for a fact that your parents don’t want to find out that you’re sexually active like this. And if you do end up in this situation it would probably be best not to tell the HIV fan.
6) Worst gift EVER
So your lovely partner returns home and she’s brought you a big bag of HIV. You thought she’d been shopping, but actually she’s been cheating on you. Hot damn, what a b****.
5) “Hello,” said the penis. “Aaaaah!” said the vagina
We’ve heard of and been horrified by the story of vagina dentata, but the prospect of a talking penis is taking it a step too far. We’d advise the ladies to steer well clear of over-communicative penises, even if they are appropriate sheathed. Once again this is the work of MTV.
4) He’s going to shoot her in the…? Jesus
Have we mentioned? Sex equals death. Taking that message a step on, the ever-responsible MTV sponsored this Portuguese campaign advocating the idea that while happiness might be holding a warm gun, depression is infecting your partner with DEATH from your infected weapon. The horror.
3) It could be worse…
You could be having sex with the horrifying spider man. While we imagine an awful lot of stimulating could be done with 12 arms (count ‘em), this ad really does make the horrible point – those arms have done a lot of hugging.
2) Or even worse…
At least that fella had arms. This pair (above and at top) are making out with a giant scorpion and a giant spider, respectively – which is quite frankly an absolutely frigging terrifying prospect. If you’re having sex with someone with AIDS you’d hope that they wouldn’t eviscerate you and eat you. Of course if you’re having sex with someone who’s deliberately trying to infect you with AIDS, they don’t sound very nice. But with giant spiders, you just don’t know. Horrifying.
1) This woman. Loves the c***
Having taken a look at the giant penis starfish, the giant penis jellyfish or the giant penis turtles you might begin to imagine that this woman, swimming in a giant condom, has an above average interest in the male member. But this does look rather horrifying. Perhaps she’d enjoy the company of the TnA man, below? Or perhaps they’d have issues as they’re both trapped in giant condoms?
Vineta Pētersone
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Latvian BMX riderFactfileName: Vineta PētersoneNationality: LatviaDate of
Birth: 21 May 1999Place of Birth: Spardorf, Bavaria, GermanySport:
BMX Height: 1...
